30 Fake Business Blog Posts Someone Should Have Written Already

Quit your job. Repeat until rich.

Look. I get it. I’m with you, friend.

But do not fear! Don’t give up yet. I’ve compiled a list of articles guaranteed to lift you out of your slump and get you well on your way to the Professional Business Person Life you’ve always wanted to lead.

  1. The Real Reason All Of the World’s Most Influential CEOs Drive Teslas That Have Vanity Plates With the Word “HUSTLE” On Them
  2. 7 Alternatives to Making Small Talk with the Coworker in the Urinal Next to You When You’re Just Trying to Pee and GTFO
  3. 12 Words You Can Insert into Any Sentence to Make it Sound Like You Know What You’re Talking About; The First One is “Utilize.”
  4. Disrupt Your Daily Routine By Doing This One Simple Thing—It’s Called “Eating Three Bags of Cheetos at Your Desk Before 11am While Ignoring Every Email in Your Inbox”
  5. My 80-Hour Work Week Destroyed Every Meaningful Human Relationship I’ve Ever Had in My Life But the Money Helps Me Numb My Denial
  6. How to Deal With the Enduring Cognitive Dissonance of Wondering if You Picked Your Major Just Because it Was Easy or if it Was Something You Actually Wanted To Do, and Feeling Guilt for Not Challenging Yourself More in College, Yet You Don’t Even Have the Energy to Challenge Yourself Now So What Reason Do You Have to Believe You Ever Even Had it in You To Try Harder in the First Place
  7. This Unsplash Photo of a Closed Macbook Pro on a Desk Inspired Me to Quit My Job — You’ll Want to Do the Same When You See It
Here it is. This is the photo.
Photo by Oliver Pecker on Unsplash

Opinions, stories and takes on marketing, pop culture and social media. Brand content strategist. Em dash abuser. SLC, UT.

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